Yes. It’s true. I’m back.
I had expected with an hour of time set aside we’d have lot’s to say to one another. But we didn’t. These turned out to be very brief and very unexpected moments.
My two critique partners were very different authors from each other and from me, in age and writing credentials. My opinions of what they both told me, continue to shift over time as the experience takes on my own biases. But here is what I need to remember, here is where the truth will ultimately remain.
The first words out of the mouth of my first critique partner were, “I want more. I want more of this story.”
The first words written in the notes from my second critique partner were, “This is a very promising start to a novel.”
For a very first try at writing novel length fiction, how much more can you ask than that? The hour critiques we were supposed to have, ended up being only ten to fifteen minutes, maybe 20 on the second. We had very little to say to one another. My second critique was more technically intense, with ideas for later drafts–grammar, a shift in the plot line, a thought about who might really be the main character when it’s all said and done, a reminder to fulfill what has been promised at the start of the story…
Now that I am back, I ask myself—why did I go? If I went looking for validation, I got it. In spades.
So I am sitting here in my chair, looking at my boards, looking at where I stopped. In reality, my critiques answered nothing of tangible help to solve this…problem. It’s my burden to carry. There was no hint of it in what I sent in to be read and there was no good way to ask. The answer to the question is to be found in the writing of the novel. No one else can walk in those shoes. And I have the feeling that the real help, the answers to the questions I have, can only be addressed by others when the book is really finished and thoroughly read, start to finish.
The prep work I did for the critiques went unused. But I now have a nice primer on the main symbolism of the story, and some very strong exposition on the resolution of the conflict. That should assist me at some point. But for now, I guess what I really need to do, is go back to work. I have to finish this second draft–whatever it takes–outline, note cards, magic marker on the floor…just get back to a solid work schedule. Try hard not to burn out.